Oh my life, this weather is doing my nut in, it’s SUPPOSE to be Spring!! The sun doesn’t know whether it’s wants to come out or stay in, the wind can’t make it’s mind up, and then the sleet can’t make it’s mind up if it wants to be snow or rain….
it’s like 4 seasons in a day….it’s depression…..not only is it making me want to curl up under a duvet till spring decides it’s finally here, but my brain has ‘insomniac freeze’ …
It’s like I lay in bed waiting for sleep to take over, but the brain is going twenty to the dozen…..then a memory comes along, that I really should write down, but then
the iPad is on charge, on the floor, at the end of the bed….the body can’t be asked to move, cause it won’t find the same comfy spot Its been positioned in for over an hr, then the brain decides to scramble 100 other things to do, at the same instant, so!, even if I made it to the iPad, by the time I did, I’ve have forgotten what it was I wanted to write down…. Then I just get annoyed and stressy, then end up thinking of things I need to do when I get up. I’m then too scared to sleep incase I don’t hear the alarm, so I toss and turn, curse everything and everyone that’s pissed me off, all in my head, I might add, cause if it was out loud, I think there is a possibility that the whole street would hear me… AND when the alarm finally does go off, I’ve basically been awake the whole evening….
Sometimes I am even up BEFORE the alarm because I have annoyed myself to a point of wanting to remember, but can’t, and then have to decided if I want to be stressy for the rest of the day or not…..? Now at 3am, that’s a massive decision ….I just want to have a go at everyone….. Yes and be stressy, but there are others to take into consideration..
so I start my daily routine, hoping that by 8am the overloaded frozen brain and body owned by fibromyalgia, is awake and calm enough to face the day…AGaIN…..